| 1. | Nation Shudders At Large Block Of Uninterrupted Text | 10 Mar 10, 13:07 | 524 | 38 |
| 2. | Girl Welcomed To Womanhood With 4-Page Pamphlet | 9 Mar 10, 14:17 | 422 | 41 |
| 3. | Breaking News: Some ***** Happening Somewhere [Video] | 9 Mar 10, 04:20 | 1461 | 141 |
| 4. | Wrestling Fans Admit and Then Forget It Is Fake | 7 Mar 10, 10:46 | 323 | 67 |
| 5. | How Will The End Of Print Journalism Affect Hoarders? [Vid] | 4 Mar 10, 21:20 | 242 | 13 |
| 6. | Obama Caught Lip-Syncing Speech (video) | 3 Mar 10, 12:43 | 1450 | 397 |
| 7. | Filming Of Congressional Reality Show Disrupts Meeting | 25 Feb 10, 19:10 | 247 | 8 |
| 8. | Latest Sarah Palin Speech Opens Sixth Seal | 25 Feb 10, 11:27 | 1011 | 120 |
| 9. | Former Prom King Now Living Anonymously Among Commoners | 23 Feb 10, 10:39 | 431 | 28 |
| 10. | Construction Restricts Daytona 500 Traffic To One Lane | 21 Feb 10, 01:50 | 185 | 17 |
| 11. | Tiger Woods Announces Return To Sex | 20 Feb 10, 17:30 | 1238 | 105 |
| 12. | 70% Of World's Population Could Use All-Star Benefit Concert | 19 Feb 10, 14:36 | 285 | 20 |
| 13. | Nation Realizes Money Is Just A Symbolic Shared Illusion | 18 Feb 10, 17:20 | 1192 | 291 |
| 14. | Ford Recalls 2010 Mustang For Being Too Cool | 16 Feb 10, 20:40 | 655 | 95 |
| 15. | Law To Ban Marriage Between People Who Don't Love Each Other | 15 Feb 10, 13:38 | 1596 | 163 |
| 16. | The Evolution Of Sports (TIMELINE) | 6 Feb 10, 16:41 | 319 | 33 |
| 17. | Mischievous Raccoon Wreaks Havoc On Space Station | 4 Feb 10, 13:39 | 332 | 24 |
| 18. | Bunch Of Phonies Mourn J.D. Salinger | 29 Jan 10, 12:24 | 1387 | 139 |
| 19. | Frantic Steve Jobs Stays Up All Night Designing Apple Tablet | 29 Jan 10, 07:20 | 1326 | 109 |
| 20. | LeBron James: Slam Dunk Enrollment Form is Complicated (WTF) | 28 Jan 10, 17:20 | 465 | 65 |
| 21. | Science Channel Refuses To Dumb Down Science Any Further | 28 Jan 10, 03:00 | 1532 | 238 |
| 22. | I Don't Even Want To Be Alive Anymore (By Rush Limbaugh) | 26 Jan 10, 08:00 | 981 | 162 |
| 23. | Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called Haiti | 26 Jan 10, 06:40 | 518 | 78 |
| 24. | Vick Calls Fumble vs. Cowboys 'Worst Thing I've Ever Done' | 17 Jan 10, 19:21 | 351 | 73 |
| 25. | Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian | 13 Jan 10, 11:31 | 4026 | 554 |
| 26. | Joe Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy Ads [video] | 12 Jan 10, 14:29 | 463 | 45 |
| 27. | DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico | 9 Dec 09, 00:30 | 1066 | 77 |
| 28. | Onion TV - Most College Males Admit To Regularly Getting Sto | 8 Dec 09, 19:41 | 894 | 116 |
| 29. | New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths | 7 Dec 09, 17:03 | 1430 | 292 |
| 30. | Zombie Reagan Raised From Grave To Lead GOP | 2 Dec 09, 13:20 | 594 | 67 |
| 31. | Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women | 25 Nov 09, 16:05 | 876 | 120 |
| 32. | Several 2009 MLB Awards Clearly Thought Up On The Spot | 22 Nov 09, 00:21 | 196 | 10 |
| 33. | Grizzlies: We Have 5 Players Better Than Allen Iverson | 16 Nov 09, 09:40 | 354 | 22 |
| 34. | Area Man Defends What He Imagines Constitution to Be | 14 Nov 09, 22:30 | 2326 | 466 |
| 35. | NASCAR Coach Reveals Winning Strategy: 'Drive Fast' | 13 Nov 09, 15:45 | 308 | 36 |
| 36. | BREAKING: U.S. Deports Lou Dobbs | 12 Nov 09, 08:49 | 613 | 57 |
| 37. | Defense Bill Features Less Waste | 6 Nov 09, 11:35 | 195 | 32 |
| 38. | Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck | 3 Nov 09, 07:40 | 1324 | 152 |
| 39. | BREAKING NEWS: Staples Center collapse, dozens killed | 2 Nov 09, 10:40 | 303 | 119 |
| 40. | Phillies Hope To End 364-Day World Series Drought | 30 Oct 09, 05:30 | 296 | 31 |
| 41. | Report: 90% Of Waking Hours Spent Staring At Glowing Rectang | 27 Oct 09, 23:00 | 456 | 53 |
| 42. | "I Can't Believe Red Hot Chili Peppers Are Still Around" | 25 Oct 09, 23:21 | 365 | 63 |
| 43. | Redskins Hold Press Conf To Announce They Are Still a Team | 21 Oct 09, 11:37 | 323 | 32 |
| 44. | Cell Phone Stuck In 2-Year Contract With Local Man | 15 Oct 09, 11:48 | 283 | 9 |
| 45. | Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire | 14 Oct 09, 12:12 | 340 | 35 |
| 46. | If God Had Wanted Me To Be Accepting Of Gays... | 14 Oct 09, 10:37 | 841 | 213 |
| 47. | New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke' [video] | 7 Oct 09, 18:21 | 2071 | 280 |
| 48. | Struggling Museum Now Allowing Patrons To Touch Paintings | 6 Oct 09, 08:01 | 321 | 35 |
| 49. | Shell Executives Accuse Oil-Covered Otter Of Playing It Up | 3 Oct 09, 02:00 | 460 | 34 |
| 50. | Newly Discovered Recordings Reveal Beatles Actually Terrible | 30 Sep 09, 16:30 | 97 | 22 |
| 51. | Pepsi To Cease Advertising | 29 Sep 09, 14:12 | 3099 | 400 |
| 52. | Hey, You Got Something To Eat? | 29 Sep 09, 11:37 | 102 | 12 |
| 53. | John Maine Takes Pitch Requests At Poorly Attended Mets Game | 27 Sep 09, 03:10 | 284 | 44 |
| 54. | Who Are We Naming Our Babies After? (Graphic) | 24 Sep 09, 12:48 | 248 | 37 |
| 55. | Disney Unveils Line of Genetically Engineered Child Stars | 19 Sep 09, 21:40 | 221 | 25 |
| 56. | White House Reveals Obama Bipolar, Entered Depressive Phase | 14 Sep 09, 09:26 | 630 | 91 |
| 57. | Patriots' Coach Bill Belichick's Tears Eat Through Podium | 8 Sep 09, 19:20 | 271 | 27 |
| 58. | Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture? | 4 Sep 09, 08:10 | 445 | 38 |
| 59. | 'Killer' Squirrel Blames The Mainstream Media For The Attack | 4 Sep 09, 06:00 | 281 | 11 |
| 60. | #467,357th-Ranked Tennis Player Working On Overhand Serves | 2 Sep 09, 21:50 | 161 | 10 |
| 61. | FaceBook/Twitter Revolutionizing How Adults Stalk Their Kids | 2 Sep 09, 01:10 | 673 | 68 |
| 62. | Californians Gather To Celebrate Annual Wildfire Tradition | 1 Sep 09, 04:30 | 411 | 49 |
| 63. | Afterbirthers Demand To See Obama's Placenta | 28 Aug 09, 04:30 | 251 | 54 |
| 64. | Time Releases Annual List Of Least Influential Americans | 27 Aug 09, 02:41 | 418 | 27 |
| 65. | Sudden Ominous Music Heard Across U.S., Nation Panicking | 26 Aug 09, 04:20 | 454 | 71 |
| 66. | Dog Humiliated In Front Of Entire Park | 24 Aug 09, 16:20 | 194 | 16 |
| 67. | 74% Of Kids Tenting In Yard Don't Make It Through the Night | 21 Aug 09, 18:00 | 902 | 93 |
| 68. | Suicide Bomber Killed En Route By Car Bomb | 19 Aug 09, 20:51 | 836 | 154 |
| 69. | Congress Deadlocked Over How To Not Provide Health Care | 19 Aug 09, 15:31 | 988 | 189 |
| 70. | New Google Service Lets Privacy Critics Opt-Out, Relocate | 12 Aug 09, 08:50 | 360 | 29 |
| 71. | Area Man Spends Summer Having Wallet Stolen Across Europe | 10 Aug 09, 14:14 | 142 | 6 |
| 72. | VP Biden Uses Freedom Of Information Act To His Advantage | 6 Aug 09, 13:26 | 281 | 28 |
| 73. | How Do Drugs Cross The Border? (PIC) | 5 Aug 09, 12:40 | 936 | 95 |
| 74. | Sanyo Praying Area Man Doesn't Send In Rebate Form | 3 Aug 09, 23:31 | 428 | 41 |
| 75. | Man Running After Bus Delights Bus Occupants - The Onion | 3 Aug 09, 22:02 | 467 | 24 |
| 76. | Congresswoman: Botched Plastic Surgery Most Important Issue | 1 Aug 09, 12:20 | 214 | 39 |
| 77. | Fat-Free Frenzy (Infographic) | 30 Jul 09, 06:10 | 157 | 26 |
| 78. | Apple Claims New iPhone Only Visible To Most Loyal Customers | 29 Jul 09, 10:40 | 3176 | 239 |
| 79. | Chinese Onion: Tot Lauded For Memorizing Primitive Alphabet | 21 Jul 09, 17:41 | 440 | 38 |
| 80. | The Onion Sold To The Chinese | 21 Jul 09, 05:20 | 2247 | 227 |
| 81. | China Celebrates Its Status As World's #1 Air Polluter | 21 Jul 09, 00:20 | 399 | 61 |
| 82. | Weakling President Asks Imaginary Man In Sky To Bless Nation | 20 Jul 09, 20:20 | 155 | 31 |
| 83. | President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons [VIDEO] | 13 Jul 09, 09:21 | 269 | 34 |
| 84. | What If TV Pundits Could See If Nation Agrees With Them? | 10 Jul 09, 15:50 | 1965 | 154 |
| 85. | Report: 70 Percent Of All Praise Sarcastic | 9 Jul 09, 19:10 | 480 | 48 |
| 86. | Movie Not Nearly As Awful As Hoped | 7 Jul 09, 17:40 | 264 | 55 |
| 87. | Report: Meat Now America's No. 2 Condiment | 6 Jul 09, 07:00 | 446 | 61 |
| 88. | All Seven Deadly Sins Committed At Church Bake Sale | 5 Jul 09, 05:30 | 216 | 35 |
| 89. | Genetically Modified Foods | 30 Jun 09, 00:00 | 266 | 51 |
| 90. | Stephen Baldwin's Assistant Promoted To Stephen Baldwin | 29 Jun 09, 14:40 | 203 | 6 |
| 91. | Teen Handed Awesome Responsibility Of Closing Subway Alone | 28 Jun 09, 22:50 | 163 | 19 |
| 92. | Stuart Scott's Left Eye Moves To Fox | 28 Jun 09, 06:30 | 176 | 30 |
| 93. | Chief Twit on Iran- "I Never Intended Twitter To Be Useful" | 26 Jun 09, 12:07 | 449 | 46 |
| 94. | 95% of Opinions Withheld on Visit to Family | 23 Jun 09, 18:40 | 943 | 133 |
| 95. | Man Who Thought He Was On Date Just At Work-Related Function | 22 Jun 09, 18:23 | 520 | 87 |
| 96. | Investigators: Air France Disaster Caused By Plane Crash | 20 Jun 09, 16:20 | 214 | 39 |
| 97. | Area Man Can Tell Commercial Will Be For Corona | 19 Jun 09, 14:50 | 80 | 11 |
| 98. | Kobe Bryant Proves He Can Win Championship with Luke Walton | 18 Jun 09, 19:21 | 406 | 75 |
| 99. | Obama Announces Plans To Run For McCain Senate Seat In 2010 | 17 Jun 09, 19:20 | 511 | 102 |
| 100. | Report: 90% Of Waking Hours Spent Staring At Rectangles | 17 Jun 09, 11:45 | 1399 | 185 |
| 101. | Gymnast Shawn Johnson Euthanized After Breaking Leg | 16 Jun 09, 21:01 | 2357 | 236 |
| 102. | But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship... | 10 Jun 09, 01:50 | 4425 | 774 |
| 103. | Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America | 9 Jun 09, 17:40 | 1108 | 181 |
| 104. | Oh, No! Well-Reasoned Arguments Backed With Facts! Run! | 29 May 09, 06:31 | 477 | 80 |
| 105. | Obama Practices Looking-Off-Into-Future Pose | 28 May 09, 10:48 | 904 | 139 |
| 106. | Disney Unveils Genetically Engineered Child Stars [VIDEO] | 15 May 09, 13:25 | 1914 | 137 |
| 107. | Classmates.com Employees Won't Tell CEO About Facebook | 12 May 09, 06:10 | 3096 | 225 |
| 108. | Royals Unable To Find Themselves In Standings | 10 May 09, 06:10 | 326 | 28 |
| 109. | Adult Ferris Bueller Charms Way Out Of Paying Child Support | 8 May 09, 02:40 | 125 | 15 |
| 110. | Trekkies Bash new Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable' | 6 May 09, 00:40 | 2443 | 202 |
| 111. | Craigslist Server Contracts HPV | 30 Apr 09, 08:24 | 185 | 17 |
| 112. | What to do with all these Constitutional Rights?? | 29 Apr 09, 23:10 | 566 | 57 |
| 113. | KFC Introduces New Bird-Flu Dipping Vaccine | 28 Apr 09, 14:28 | 775 | 79 |
| 114. | Three Fingered On Class Trip To Washington, D.C. | 27 Apr 09, 10:56 | 765 | 96 |
| 115. | Oprah's African School Forced To Cut Oprahmatics, 20th Centu | 20 Apr 09, 21:10 | 164 | 22 |
| 116. | Media Having Trouble Finding Right Angle On Obama's Double-H | 15 Apr 09, 13:46 | 728 | 118 |
| 117. | Pack of smokes at area prisons surpasses 2 hand jobs | 15 Apr 09, 00:10 | 1597 | 99 |
| 118. | Michael Bay Signs $50M Deal To ***** Up 'Thundercats' | 14 Apr 09, 00:21 | 2147 | 264 |
| 119. | Tax Records Show Sasha Obama Made $136 In Allowance Money | 10 Apr 09, 13:30 | 1209 | 122 |
| 120. | Two Dozen More Bodies Found In Lake Wobegon, MN | 7 Apr 09, 21:01 | 329 | 61 |
| 121. | Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People In The Face | 7 Apr 09, 17:43 | 3247 | 282 |
| 122. | Panicked, Sweat-Covered Pope Reverses Longstanding Ban On Ab | 7 Apr 09, 09:34 | 104 | 19 |
| 123. | Florida Woman Getting Pale For Vacation In Minnesota | 7 Apr 09, 05:10 | 485 | 65 |
| 124. | Obama Depressed, Distant Since 'Battlestar Galactica' Finale | 1 Apr 09, 15:42 | 4125 | 220 |
| 125. | DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack | 1 Apr 09, 10:34 | 643 | 39 |
| 126. | Renowned Hoo-Ha Doctor Wins Nobel Prize | 31 Mar 09, 00:40 | 262 | 19 |
| 127. | Biggest Busts In NBA Draft History | 30 Mar 09, 19:10 | 184 | 11 |
| 128. | Team USA Happy To Be Back Playing For Money | 29 Mar 09, 16:01 | 414 | 37 |
| 129. | Shaq Finds Mysterious Inscriptions Written On Basketball | 27 Mar 09, 20:11 | 544 | 60 |
| 130. | Taco Bell Launches New 'Morning After' Burrito | 26 Mar 09, 08:31 | 1546 | 150 |
| 131. | Taco Bell Launches New 'Morning After' Burrito | 26 Mar 09, 04:40 | 871 | 92 |
| 132. | God Unveils New Species As Demand For Humans Declines | 25 Mar 09, 11:45 | 918 | 56 |
| 133. | Would That I Had Someone Special With Whom I Could Share My | 20 Mar 09, 12:12 | 254 | 27 |
| 134. | Charlotte Bobcats Seeded 7th In NIT | 19 Mar 09, 23:51 | 406 | 34 |
